When the band R.E.M., after over a decade of making music together, announced they were finally calling it quits last week, the words to one of their most iconic songs came to me while I was summarizing this crazy (which ones aren't) New York Yankees season: "It's the End of the World as We Know it (And I feel Fine)."
With apologies to Bill Berry, Peter Buck, Mike Mills and Michael Stipe, I give you the Yankees season-- from the off-season contract squabbles to winning the AL East title-- wrapped up in a re-worded version of the great song.
That's great, New York has an earthquake, words and stakes,
get paid, Derek Jeter's not afraid.
Irene was a hurricane, A-Rod in a poker game.
Core Four to Key Three, no sign of Cliff Lee.
Stem cell, elbow, Bartolo's all well,
Joba Rules, Tommy John, Garcia still has the tools.
Red Sox, on fire, trumped by eight, no Yank bats for hire.
AL East, too strong, breathing down your neck, but not for long.
Dead arm, search the farm, Ivan Nova is a charm
Look at those slow players!
Fine, then.
Uh oh, roster change, Soriano overpaid.
Save yourself, Jorge, batting ninth, no way.
A.J., vitriolic, psychotic, fight, melt down,
felling pretty tight- right
It's the end of the season as we know it.
It's the end of the season as we know it.
It's the end of the season as we know it and the Yanks feel fine.
11 o'clock- TV hour. Don't get caught in rain showers.
Swish, the man, honeymoon in Afghanistan.
Every motive escalated, six-man rotation, CC hated.
In the dirt, in the sun, Tex's glove saves a run.
DL, milestone, All-Star snub, Jeter atones.
Sandman, 602, watch the cutter, Hall of Fame.
Sandman, 602, watch the cutter, Hall of Fame.
Home run derby, father throws, turn the corner, Robbie grows.
Cashman, no trades, Joe Girardi, Boston fades.
(Chorus)
HGH, Crawford's pay, Andy Pettitte, perjury,
Christian Lopez, Minka Kelly, Montero, Hideki.
Granderson for MVP, Nunez good, but not error free.
You symbiotic, patriotic, pinstriped look, right? Right.
It's the end of the season as we know it.
It's the end of the season as we know it.
It's the end of the season as we know it and the Yanks feel fine...
It's the end of the season as we know it.
It's the end of the season as we know it and the Yanks feel fine...
My next R.E.M. song tribute will be dedicated to the Boston Red Sox. You may know it as "Everybody Hurts."
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