Thursday, April 26, 2012

White Sox players used flowers to enhance performance

A new study revealed that the smell of jasmine can actually increase the batting averages of baseball players.  A University of Chicago experiment put jasmine— it's not only a stripper's working name— on the wristbands of some Chicago White Sox players and found out the major leaguers with plain wristbands were outperformed by the ones wearing the scent.

Imagine, the first legal, all-natural alternative to steroids and it's a pretty white flower.

The day has finally come when you can have performance enhancers delivered by FTD.

The new study led by Dr. Alan Hirsch at the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation of Chicago found the the smell can make ballplayers better.

"Across the board, the presence of the jasmine smell improved their batting performances," said Hirsch of the  science-backed experiment conducted last fall at U.S. Cellular Field in which a collection of six White Sox players hit better when the wristbands they wore were saturated with jasmine.  In independent assessments by the volunteer players, their batting practice pitchers and their coaches , the hitters were judged on the mechanics of their swings, including bat speed, trajectory, the flight of the ball and the bat swing zone."

"Compared to the non-odor trials, jasmine significantly improved all batting parameters," said Hirsch.

The neurologist/psychiatrist goes on with some more scientific mumbo-jumbo but the basic premise is the smell of jasmine improves your game and he has scientific proof.

The good doctor said the smell of jasmine "puts players in a positive, happy mood" and "makes them less nervous."

He also added that bad smells like pig farms tend to make people more aggressive.  Hear that Metta World Peace?

It sounds like jasmine can help a team from stinking up the joint in more ways than one.  Maybe the Cubs should replace the outfield ivy with the flowers.

Hirsch has also studied the effect of different scents on men's and women's sexual arousal.  Men seem to go for a combination of lavender and pumpkin pie while women get turned on by the blend of Good & Plenty candy (they still make that?) and cucumbers according to his tests.

Hirsch also claims the fragrance of jasmine helped pro-bowlers as well.  Expect a to see a run on jasmine at florists around ballparks and bowling alleys.

Dr. Hirsch will present his findings Thursday to the Association of Chemoreception Sciences.  I bet the after-party is a blast.

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