Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Swedish Women's Soccer Team's Victory Dance Over U.S. is a Winner

I watched Sweden's 2-1 win over the United States, in their FIFA Women's World Cup soccer group-play match today, and learned a few things about women's soccer I never realized before.

First of all, every women's team seems to have a team victory dance they perform after every goal or win.  My vote for best choreography  goes to Sweden.  It's a Nordic Polska with a little gangsta crotch-grab to spice it up. 


Here's a few other things I picked up on the sport today.

Apparently, the women's style of soccer play is just as scrappy as the men's but they don't cry, roll around in agony and there are way less prat-falls and flopping.  That's probably because an Italian team wasn't on the field.

There is a lot of spirited chatter on the field but, thankfully, it's not as loud as an NCAA women's softball game or the grunting at a Wimbleton Women's Finals match.

The sideline bench area looks more like a nail salon than a sports bench.  Did you see those seats?  Who supplies them, Audi or BMW?  Those blue and white bucket seats, complete with headrests, look like they should be sitting in front of a 60-inch flat screen in some dude's man-cave.  I'm almost sure they have vibrating magic fingers.

The U.S. goalie, Hope Solo, is pretty cute, and not related to Han, and the Swedish team is 92.5% blond.

Finally, the ESPN soccer announcers are the biggest homers in all sports.  They make excuses for every U.S. misplay or loss.  If it's not a "that was a bad call against the U.S.," it's a "this loss will make the U.S. team stronger, that's just how they are."  Get over it, Sweden is a pretty good team.

Now, the U.S. will face Brazil in a tough  quarterfinal match on Sunday.  The U.S. team has been relegated to second place in Group C due to the loss.  It was the United States women's soccer team's first  loss in group play in their last 17 appearances.

I knew that.

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