A Few Reasons Super Bowl XLVIII in NJ Could Be The Best

By Tony Mangia

The weather at Super Bowl XLV in Dallas must have the NFL wondering how many helmet-to-helmet hits they took after they awarded the 2014 Super Bowl game to New Jersey/New York.  All these airport closings and frozen roads.  Where is this?  Chicago? 

If all the forecasts are correct, this Sunday in New York--the night of the big game in three years--will bring snow and icy rain to New Meadowlands Stadium with temperatures dropping to 20 degrees.  Don't forget the wind chills which sweep across the swamplands.  Perfect for football purists, hell for everyone else.

Right now, the temperature over/under for Super Bowl XLVIII in NJ/NY is 32.5 degrees and snow comes in at 5-to-1 odds.  Global warming is the handicap.  There isn't a retractable roof.

Bad weather aside, it's the pomp and promotion leading up to the game that should really keep people away.  Here are a few of the things to look forward to that could make Super Bowl XLVIII the best ever.  One can only wish.

•   New Meadowlands Stadium is now named Giants Stadium once again.  New Meadlowlands Stadium.  What genius came up with that one?

•   Seeing newly-appointed NFL Commissioner Keith "I know everything" Olbermann blame the inclement weather on George W. Bush.

•  Watching ESPN and other networks insist on having their talk show analysts broadcast from freezing, open booths outside the studio.  Mike Greenberg shivers to death on live TV and no one notices.

•  Mexican "reporter" Ines Sainz shows up and no one cares.

• Media Day is cancelled due to the foul weather.  Players and reporters are instructed to use Twitter from hotel rooms.  Rachel Nichols wins stupidest question after she tweets Mark Sanchez and asks why he and "Entourage" actor, Adrian Grenier have never been seen in the same room together?

• A Super Bowl Tribute to "Jersey Shore" and Jimmy Hoffa pre-game extravaganza beats out a "Twilight" themed mope-fest.

• After Justin Bieber's hair malfunction in last year's Super Bowl XLVII half-time show in New Orleans, Bruce Springsteen gets the call in 2014.  Why?  Because Jersey's favorite son can do whatever he wants in the Garden State.  Wyckoff's own Jonas Brothers feel slighted and vow revenge by releasing a cover album of Greetings from Asbury Park.

• Jerry Jones is still waiting to get back into the Super Bowl.

• The NFL begins plans to fore go Roman numerals after they can't figure out how to fit Super Bowl LXXXVIII on tee-shirts and other souvenirs.

• The 20-4 New York Giants--after the 20-game season and expanded playoffs--beat the New York Jets in Super Bowl XLVIII.  Giants head coach Bill Cowher frisks, then hugs Plaxico Burress after he catches the game winner.

• Jets fans finally notice that Rex Ryan's lap-band surgery is working after he removes parka.  The new Dr. Scholl's spokesman barely tips the scales at 133 pounds.  His head alone weighs in at 45. 

 Hey, if Ricky Gervais can get a third shot at the Golden Globes, why not a second shot for an uncovered stadium in a cold-weather city?  Hear that Pittsburgh and Green Bay?

Gang Green Feeling Blue

By Tony Mangia

RAVENS PUMMEL JETS

All of the trash talking in the world doesn't win games. The New York Jets learned that the hard way after the team--a watered-down version of their opponents-- took it hard on the chin and lost to the Baltimore Ravens 10-9 last night. Don't let the final score fool you. They were completely dominated in every category--including walking the walk.

The Jets smash mouthed their way into the new Meadowlands Stadium with Super Bowl expectations and a stadium they could call their own. Three decades at Giants Stadium and the organization's pathetic attempts to cover up the Giant blue facade with Jet green on game days made the team feel like sub-lettors. Now, the Jets were the home team thanks to the $1.6 billion stadium's color-changing light system.

First the good news. LaDanian Tomlinson gained 62 yards...um...that's it. What can you say about a team that has more than twice as many penalties as first downs! New cornerbacks Antonio Cromartie and Kyle Wilson were responsible for six first downs alone--on penalties! Newly signed Derrelle Revis held his own but for the rest of the defensive backfield it was a nightmare. All Ravens QB Joe Flacco had to do was toss up the ball and if Anquan Boldin didn't snatch it chances were good a Jets DB would get an interference call.

FROM HARD KNOCKS TO TOUGH NOOGIES

The Jets joined last season's summer training camp television stars the Dallas Cowboys as the new, over-hyped media darlings. Head coach Rex Ryan and his obscenity-laced speeches can't hide the fact that the Jets are undisciplined on defense and the offense is suspect. Fourteen penalties and 1-of-11 on third down conversions don't tell the whole story. It was fitting that any chance for some Jets last minute heroics ended after Sanchez hit Dustin Keller who timidly stepped out of bounds a yard before the first down marker. It was as if he was mercifully putting the Jets out of their misery.

Even the loud-mouth Ryan was humbled after the mauling and said little about the game at his press conference. He did comment about the controversy with Mexican television reporter Ines Sainz. "We never want anybody to feel uncomfortable around our team," the coach said regarding the locker room antics of some Jet players and the sexy reporter. He could have been talking about Jets fans as well. It's a good thing Sainz doesn't do her reporting on the tower ramps leading into the stands. Just imagine what hundreds of beered-up, angry Jetsies would say to the demure correspondent--in Spanish and English.