Thursday, June 23, 2011

Japanese Rugby Star To Be Banned For Growing Steroid-Aided Mustache

Japanese rugby star, Ryohei Yamanaka, is facing at least a six-month ban for trying to grow a mustache with a steroid-based cream to speed up the hair-growing process.  The cost of trying to look like a female Bulgarian weightlifter means Yamanaka could miss the 2011 Rugby World Cup in New Zealand.

The 22 year-old Yamanaka failed a drug test as he was preparing for Movember, a charity event where rugby players don't shave for a four-week period.

Apparently, Yamanaka looked more like Justin Bieber than Burt Reynolds and applied the cream to look a little older and have more facial hair not to shave.

The cream just happens to have a forbidden steroid in it.

Japanese rugby coach, John Kirwan, was surprised by the drug-test results, but doesn't expect rugby's governing boards to go easy on his fly-half.

"I don't think he was aware of the severity of it," said Kirwan.  "We spent 24-hours trying to find out what he had taken.  He got a hair-growth cream to try and grow a mo."

Yamanaka's poorly-planned attempt at growing a "mo" is expected to get him banned from competition at least through the World Cup in the fall and possibly up to two years.

"It was a little tube of hair-growth cream.  He just didn't think," said Kirwan.  "Apparently he failed the (B-Sample) too.  I gather he's innocent, but the (IRB) take a dim view.  He's lucky if he gets six months."

Yamanaka apologized for his attempt at looking manlier on Twitter by saying he was "sorry for causing such problems" but made it a point to say the cream was "not a hair-growth tonic which grows hair on the head."

Got to keep those priorities straight for the ladies.

Just think, after the ban, Yamanaka will have actually grown a real 'stache for the 2013 Movember.

The barren-faced Yamanaka should have done what we did in high school to impress the senior girls-- a light brush of your mom's mascara over your top lip.

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