Monday, March 1, 2010

From Shamu to Sashimi

By Tony Mangia

The tragic death of a whale trainer in Florida last week has brought out animal activists in droves and --in this case--I have to agree with these paint-throwing fanatics. Tillikum, an orca, drowned experienced Sea World employee, Dawn Brancheau, by dragging her down by her hair, according to experts. Why is this so hard to comprehend? This whale had a rap sheet. He apparently killed two others since 1991. He was the Plaxico/Vick of water worlds. A six ton creature who lives in pods and dines on people shaped seals shouldn't be put in solitary confinement and expected to co-habitat with food-sized humans or perform like a friendly dolphin. These trainers are entertainers, as well as athletes, but the whales are natural hunters, migratory mammals with wild feral tendencies in their spouted heads. They're called killer whales for a reason! I don't know if you can free 'Tilly' without complications but he and the other orcas belong in the wild. He shouldn't end up as a special on the local sushi bar either.

Down on the Farm

Know how I know Spring is around the corner? Lupica has pulled out his Red Sox pom-poms and is getting ready to skewer the Yankees for another season. Every time he writes about human growth hormones and steroids, Lupica is fast to mention Mark McGwire and A-Rod. He never mentions his boy, Big Papi! Isn't Ortiz the guy who two seasons ago said anyone caught using performance enhancing drugs should be 'banned for life!' Ortiz made his tear-filled admission last year and he's still in uniform. McGwire and A-Rod lied and didn't initially admit using but, at least, they aren't hypocrites. Speaking of McGwire, how about his brother Jay ratting him out in a new book. He's Fredo to Mark's Michael in The Godfather. Who said blood is thicker than the juice?
Notice how A-Rod is slowly morphing into Jeter. Loss of weight, same haircut and more likable personality...oh yeah, clutch hitting in the playoffs too. Think Damon will grow back his "idiot' hair and beard in secession from the Yankees?


Tony Kornheiser's remark about Hannah Storm's outfit should not start the fire storm (no pun intended) it has. I find his off-color remarks captured 'off-guard' during PTI's commercial breaks more offensive. Storm is a looker but the outfit was just a few notches down from some Lady GaGa design. Kornheiser is spit-flying annoying even for ESPN network's 'in your face' boy's club edict. Many women in broadcasting, i.e. The View, seem to get away with reverse sexism and innuendo while some probably get their jobs because of their attractiveness (NOT The View) and nothing more. One of Tiger Woods mistresses, Rachel Uchitel, booked a correspondent position on a national entertainment show while hooker Ashley Dupre has parlayed a romp with Eliot Spitzer into a relationship advice column in the New York Post. Think ESPN's'sex-addict' Steve Phillips will ever get a Dear Abby forum for himself? He shouldn't either. Storm and ESPN should have played it like they do Barry Melrose's mullet or Mike Golic's girth--just breaking chops-- and if they are really serious about sexism they would get rid of the Victoria's Secret models at the Espys.

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