Wednesday, October 3, 2012

NFL linemen claim Nike's new form-fitting jerseys make them look fat

The NFL finally put that whole replacement referee thing behind them but it didn't take long for another issue to arise — and this a big one.  Specifically, a 300-pound problem.

After a decade of wearing Reebok-made jerseys, the league switched to Nike's "body-contoured fit" models.  Now NFL linemen are complaining that they make them look plus-sized, according to The Wall Street Journal.

While the new form-fitting tops may look good on the sculpted bodies of a 200-pound running back, the new tops have the full-figured linemen asking their teammates: Does this make me look fat?




"I hate them.  They are built for thin guys," said Alex Boone, a 300-pound guard for the San Francisco 49ers.  "It makes me look like I have big old love handles."

Boone complained that the new jerseys make his stomach hang out at the bottom and makes him self-conscious.

"It makes me look fat," he said.  "And I'm not fat."

After Boone's wife saw her husband in the new uniform, she told him, "You look like you ate a small baby."  Ouch.



The players know the new tops are more function than fashion but still want to look good on the field.  You need something to cover up those 6,000-calorie meals.

"I don't really care for the new jerseys," said 6-foot-4, 349-pound Ravens defensive lineman Terrence Cody.  I feel like they should put different material in for the big guys."



Ravens 315-pound lineman Arthur Jones claims it's hard for most normal-sized people to understand what goes into fitting into a jersey comfortably.  He said it needs to be "huge."

Not all NFL linemen are as vain about how they look in the football trenches.  Ramon Harewood, a 334-pound Ravens lineman said the new jersey fits him fine and that the guys who complain "like to look pretty" and be "swagged up."

"They say you have to look good to play good," snorts Harewood.  "I don't believe that."

No linemen have registered any complaints with the Gridiron Uniform Database, a fan-run site concerned with uniform design debates such as colors and striping, but when the big guys are mad — get out of the way.

It looks like NFL commissioner Roger Goodell might have another mess on his hands — replacement jerseys.

92 comments:

  1. I think they look fat because they're fat.

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    1. there not fat there fluffy

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    2. yup the are fat

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    3. They all look pregnant - lord, not another example of Illegitimate rape - guess they weren't raped legally according to AKIN - LOL!

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    4. Hey...no one can argue with that!
      I think they should be thinking of when they retire, and they're still young men, that their weight profile will be a much more serious problem.....

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    5. ....Kinda like your wife asking if these jeans make her ass look big - you can honestly answer "NO", since it ain't really the jeans....

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    6. "It makes me look like I have big old love handles."

      No, it's your love bandles that make you look like you have love handles....

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    7. Does this jersey make me look fat? No, your FAT makes you look fat!!

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    8. Yepp.. Fat is as fat does.

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    9. Maybe if their helmets where larger... I mean huge. Like two feet in diamter. And maybe Nike could make some baggy pants for them.. Like MC Hammer pants with pads. I know.. what if they just didn't eat so damn much. Now there's an new idea!

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    10. You get paid millions of dollars to be seen in that jersey for one hour a week -- I'd say fat players have the better end of that deal...

      Complain a little more, ladies.

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    11. Hellooooooo!!!!! They are freaking fat

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    12. As Chris Farley's character "Tommy Boy" asks his friend:

      Tommy Boy: "Does this tie make me look fat?"
      Friend: "No, your face does."

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    13. I don't think that the issue here are the new shirts...lol

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    14. If it looks like a slob,runs like a slob, and thinks like a slob....it's probably a slob. These aren't athletes,that implies being in condition.

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    15. Slobs that clearly can out you lol

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  2. I couldn't agree more.

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    1. This article mad me laugh so hard....

      These guys are so funny.

      I have always heard that offensive linemen fart a lot too....

      Naturally you dont wanna be passsing gas on a tights, you could end up creating negative pressure on your pants which could slowly sip toxic fart up to your helmet and that could kill you...

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  3. Dude, It ain't the jersey. You are fat.

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    1. 10-4 ! Dudes, you are ALL FAT ! (And so am I, just not as fat...)

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  4. Its not normal to be 330 lbs. No matter how jacked you are you will still look fat.

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  5. Are these men seriously complaining about looking fat? Seriously! They all looked fat in the Reebok jerseys too.....

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  6. brian baumgartner, gaurd for the amc hornets, looks really fat

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    1. Most look like they deserve the nickname: "Potroast".

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  8. "Does this new jersey make me look fat?" No, but your stomach does.

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    1. thats true its not the jersey its the big guys stomach, hahahahaha

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  9. If the Jersey fits, wear it .. You ARE fat. Are you too stupid to know that?

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  10. Seriously, people. Just shut the **** up, it's not a ***damn wardrobe malfunction again. There are worse things for the players to fuss over, such as how ****ing long it took for Roger to give in to the refs... and not to mention the whole ****ing mess that resulted from the consequences of having to wait so ***damn long for a resolution (the Monday Night Football incident being the most horrendous damnation of it all). Get a ****ing grip, already.

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  11. That's some funny stuff! The only difference I noticed was that little Nike logo...

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  12. Does my FAT make me look fat? Why yes it does!!

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  13. Oh yeah, fatboy. It must be the jersey.

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  14. I sure most wear a 6XL shirt, and a size 50 waist at the very least. Guess what? It ain't muscle you have because I'm sure all of their BMI's would calculate as to being morbiby obese.

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    1. And if you had any brains you would know that BMI is a worthless and useless tool for evaluating if someone is obese or overweight.

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  15. When did they start letting chicks play offensive tackle?

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    1. naaa, Chicks would have figured it our immediately and outfitted themselves with a pair of Spanx under that uniform!!LOL!!

      and why are none of them concerned with their giant arses hanging out of the see through diaper pants???

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  16. Well that brought a smile to my face. Every one of these linemen look like they are about a week past their "due date". I say buy them some 6xl maternity smocks down at the "All Knocked-Up Store" and let them play in those. If they're going to cry like girls they might as well look like them too.

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  17. i think the steelers told nike to forget making changes to the uniform. those collare around the neck that was added looks terrible.

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    1. I agree with that!!! 80's preppy all over it.

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  18. also, they for the life of me, don't wear pads anymore, so the uniform is hugging the body, if they wore pads maybe it would deflect the outline of those fat guys. we know they are big, but with pads they will look like a player. even the football pants are become shorts. have you seen frank gore's pants? those things look like shorts.

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  19. hey nfl fat guys, do what the babes do: diet or wear girdles. actually, the girls prefer the term "shapers." bras wouldn't be a bad idea either for some of you. just an idea.

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  20. What next, My pants make my butt look fat? You are big fat men and it is part of your job to be that big. Quit spending so much of your millions on big macs!

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  21. Nike forgot the latex...they need to switch to Spanx!

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  22. Yes these are big men and yes are large. Not one of you who called them fat can move as fast or play in the NFL. Show a little respect!

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    1. Ditto. Just like the people who use to drive by staring and/or pointing when I was out running (training) for a marathon at the age of 38. I was never the tall skinny girl but I was the girl with petite muscular legs and arms from working since the age of 12. Go figure none of these people could even get off the couch long enough to at least try to run a marathon. Now, I would love to still be able to train and run marathons but am now disabled, for over 2 yrs, due to a teen driver using a cell phone texting or talking and driving that crashed into my car. So as the saying goes ... If you can't walk the walk .. you shouldn't be talking the talk.

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    2. No one is saying they aren't amazing athletes. But they are seriously overweight. I wish you the best with your injuries.

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  23. I couldn't agree more. Regardless of how 'fat' most of my fellow commentors think they are, every single one of the linemen are more 'athletic' then you. Until you can play an entire game in their shoes just shut up. I'm a runner and in great shape even by 'BMI' standards and I hold nothing on these guys. They are big because their jobs demand that of them. If they could get it done at 220 instead of 320 that's how it would be. Think of receivers, they are tall. Outside of Wes Welker and DeSean Jackson its a 6 feet plus world for those guys.

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    1. Now...thats a "smart" comment...(no sarcasm)
      I wonder how many ppl here would go to work wearing spandex uniform (a-la Under-Armor BodyFit)???
      How many???

      You,re also right when you said;"they're fat because their jobs demand that of them".But the league could EASILY make diff jersey for the larger guys.

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  24. If your lineman ask, "Does this jersey make me look fat?" say "No, its your fat that make you look fat."

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  25. Potentially laying off that second loaf of bread or the fifth piece of pie would help the jersey help you, fatty.

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  26. The Real Housewives of the NFL??

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  27. Kelly Clarkson would still look fat in an NFL, NBA, NHL, MLS, MILL, UFL, or any other sport's jersey.

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  28. I have said all season the uniforms look bad everyones undiees hanging out they r always pulling on there shirts help them nike

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  30. YEAH not one of you guys talking would go up to one of these guys and tell them what you think so don't talk trash I am 300 pounds and look like I ate my family for lunch you wouldn't say it to me, big men don't wear nice little dainty shirts, more like 5XL so you can breath man so what up and save it till you take off your dainty little shirt!

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    1. I'm 6'3" and 225 lbs., and I agree with this guy - few of us would go up to Haloti Ngata or Ndamukong Suh and rip off these lines to then. It's amusing watching how people behind keyboards pretend they'd talk tough to these players (e.g., "Joanne" says, "Potentially laying off that second loaf of bread or the fifth piece of pie would help the jersey help you, fatty" or "Kayndaemah" with "Oh yeah, fatboy. It must be the jersey.") Funny how faux-tough people get cloaked in utter anonymity. Those people tend to be knee-wobbling cowards in real life.

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    2. I am 6'4" 310 and can ski my butt off, hike tough mtn., ride long distance min. 30 miles, age 53, and I played football. Those damn jerseys are too damn small. Respect the line damn it. No line, no yardage, no passing. Without the line, well you know. Plus you fools would not dare say it to them in their face, nor to me. I would toss your ass off a glacier. Meet me at Blackcomb and say it. I got a couple of NFL friends that would love to meet you. Can not make the trip due to funds....well keep your broke ass mouths closed if you can not say something nice. Don't hate cause your football career ended with pee wee and then you got drafted to John Madden League. LMFAO....yeah. Don't let size fool you, it does not mean slow slob,.....for these guys and myself it means Bear, Bull, Beast, and in my case Polar Bear.

      So if you see a big black dude on the ski slopes (east and west coast min. 130 days on snow per year) it probably is me. Say that dumb stuff, I will yank your lift ticket, toss your ass, and turn your gurl into a snowbunny for my friends in the hot tub. Want to do some ski cross. I will let you feel 300lbs bumping your ass off the course at 45 mph plus. Could be a long damn fall.

      Just a big size ski pro

      The DC PoLar Bear

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  31. The new jerseys suck. They are cut differently than the reebok jerseys and I do think they look bad.

    What I hate more about the jerseys is the fact that the NFL made the change from reebok to nike in the first place. It was simply a money making scheme to get people who own jerseys to go out and buy new ones.

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  32. Its not the jersey that is making you look fat, it's the fat that's making you look fat..............

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  33. if your're 300+ pounds and believe you got a chiseled body, you got to be at least 7 feet tall. other than that, NFL teams wont buy linemen that are below that 300 pound mark. So if you are fat in the NFL, congratulations because your salary still exceeds everyone else's in the country.

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  34. I think they should let the big guys go back to the old jerseys,we,er the ones who have to look at all tha jelly every Sun.

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  35. ....Kinda like your wife asking if these jeans make her ass look big - you can honestly answer "NO", since it ain't really the jeans....

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  36. It is a damn jersey get over it if it dont effect how you play then shut up!!

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  37. We ARE PAID to "be fat". "Fat" athletes build championships!

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  38. They'd look fat in a tent.

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  39. Hey, you're not just fat, you're OBESE. very much so.

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  40. Wow! The players are allowed to their own decisions. If they feel the Jersey's are to tight and make them look fat then they should complain to Nike to make Jersey's just for them. Those are some big guys and can move very fast. They can our run most of us on this forum. Leave the players alone.

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  41. Well, it goes to prove the point that if they didn't get big money to play sports they would be unemployed and FAT on the front porch. How stupid is tha statement....."the shirt makes me look fat". Really....It only covers what's there dipwad. Pretty much every shirt I own makes me look tubby......maybe cuz I am! Oh, and btw.....you looked fat before too!!

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  42. When your stomach hangs over your pants, you shouldn't blame the shirts. If they were all muscle they would look like the running backs, but fat is fat and maybe they should wear a girdle if they dont like it.

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  43. I can't wait to start hearing the "Yo lineman so fat..." jokes!

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  44. im fat and i know it..... just wish Nike would make big jerseys for us fans who are big... they would make a killing if they did this....

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  45. Honestly, the new jersey's suck because Nike is used to making jerseys for popwarner teams and high school players, not real athletes in the NFL! All you keyboard cowards need to shutyour mouth unless you can play at least one quarter in an NFL game in an NFL jersey with pads underneath. Im a professional golfer, and thats all im gonna say...Im lucky my sponsors give me clothes that make me look professional with a little bit of fashion and class. These guys deserve the same, and yes they are extremely big but if they werent they wouldn't be where they are today, and thats making millions running over guys the size of 2 or more of you cowards for a living...Theres no problem for nike to produce a slightly larger (in certain spots) jersey for these guys seeing as how they make millioins off these guys, and give them a multiple new jerseys every week. I mean give me a break, dont you want to look good when you show up for work, especially when its in front of thousands of screaming fans! I know I do, every time I step on the course...these guys deserve the same privilage, it makes you feel good about yourself.

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    1. ^couldnt agree more, everyone has something to say when they're nice and safe behind their computer screens. If they had to call them fat to their face they'd never do it.

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  46. Some of these comments are hilarious but let's not make this a serious issue. I'm sure he was just responding to a question about the new unis. Yes they are fat. But with the reebok unis, I'm sure they didn't "feel" fat. The Nike unis are def made more snug all around so they feel it. It's an easy fix. Just have each guy put in an order with the equipment guy on how he wants his uniform cut and have Nike custom make it. They do it already.

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  47. You're fat and getting paid WHAT to play a GAME? And, you're complaining about wearing jersey's that show the real you? How about some used baggy pants and the soup line?

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  48. Everyone of those fat guys can out run you in the 40. How does that make you feel about yourself? LOL!

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  49. only fags wear tight shirts. nuff said.

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  50. thats there job to be big without big dudes football would be boring change the jerseys for the the guys that make the sport a sport.

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  51. They may be fat but they're more athletic than you!!!

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  52. and fuck skinny people.this is our society too dudes that clown other dudes because of their weight are faggs enough said.

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  53. 6000 calorie meals? I don't eat 6K calories in a week!

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  54. WHY what a hot..HEAD, NOTHING wrong with a skinny f....r
    they can out run an elephant.. not like 6000 cal.man.what
    a joke. 40 right?

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  55. Humans just aren't meant to be 350 pounds. We just aren't. Guess what? You're fat. And you better drop that weight after your 2 and half year career or your're going to die. The average life span for an NFL lineman is 55.

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  56. Ditto. Just like the people who use to drive by staring and/or pointing when I was out running (training) for a marathon at the age of 38. I was never the tall skinny girl but I was the girl with petite muscular legs and arms from working since the age of 12. Go figure none of these people could even get off the couch long enough to at least try to run a marathon. Now, I would love to still be able to train and run marathons but am now disabled, for over 2 yrs, due to a teen driver using a cell phone texting or talking and driving that crashed into my car. So as the saying goes ... If you can't walk the walk .. you shouldn't be talking the talk.

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  57. Fat Americans, what else is new?

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  58. Ever try stopping a 300 lb tank with a skinny ass body? There's a reason why glory boys (qb's, rb's and wr's) get so much love and attention...it's cuz of the line. That's why QB's reward their linemen with Rolex watches after the bowl...can't do it without them. So for all the ignorant peeps commenting on a sport they obviously know nothing about...enjoy your worthless input. FYI...did you know that sumo wrestlers are fat too...wonder why? (hint:it's a requirement for the sport)hahahaha...tards are so funny.

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  59. You people can all sit there and call them fat but you know they can single handedly wreck your life on a football field, and they're rich, and famous so keep hating while you're nice and safe behind your computer screen.

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  60. Nike could have made better shirts but what the heck. When I'm watching football I'm watching the game, not what they have on.
    Guys don't be so self concious about the shirts... You look great!!

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  61. Today FAT. Tomorrow DEAD.

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