Polish anti-hooligan squads will be using everything from testicle-biting police dogs to sonic cannons capable of inducing involuntary urination to keep the peace at Euro 2012. So if you plan on rabble rousing on your way to a soccer match, don't forget to wear your cup and a pair of Depends.
The English-language Krakow Post newspaper published an editorial warning that local law enforcement agencies were more than ready to tackle any hooligan threat in Krakow. Even though no games will be played in that city, it has become a home base for the England team's fans.
"The Polish police are going to come down on troublemakers like a bag of anvils and you don't want to be there when it happens," the newspaper's editorial warned.
"Krakow has a long history of hooligan violence— the local police have seen it all before and they will ruin your day if you try it on.
"These lad's mums and dads rioted under Soviet machine guns— a few chairs thrown by beered-up fans is not going to intimidate them. Do not expect softly, softly police tactics."
The newspaper did not sugarcoat its defense plan to the significant amount of English fans arriving in Krakow.
"Poland's anti-hooligan squads are armed with: Shotguns, firing baton rounds that probably won't kill you as long as you're 30m away, a truck-mounted cannon affectionately known as "the typhoon," a high-tech sonic cannon that can make you wet yourself on its lowest setting, dogs trained to bite you directly in the testicles."
About 3,000 England fans have bought tickets for Monday's opening game against France which will be played in Ukraine along with all of the other Group D games.